Day 4....not so good!

  Today wasn't a great day. I dreamed about him all night last night and then couldn't get him off my mind today. No, I didn't call but I did tear up a couple of times. Maybe it's the weather that has me down. It's very cold and rainy....yuck! My sister said that I need to open my eyes and realize how I was being disrespected and couldn't even see it. I still don't really know about that. I wanted everything that happened between us. I don't see it as him using me. We used each other I just changed the rules on him after years of playing the game. My fault! Anyway, I have been doing everything in my power to get some friends together so we can go out the night before Thanksgiving. I know he will be out and I find myself trying to run into him. This is soooo stupid! Why would I want to do this? So I can see him with another woman and cry myself to sleep once I get home? NOOOO!! This is a really bad idea. I would like to maybe get a drink with some friends but I need to stay away from where I know he will be. Maybe I need to just stay home! Help! If any of you have any advice about what I should do Wednesday please comment and let me know! I need advice!!